Goddamnit. My life is over. OVER.
At least if I’d gone to Cornell (rank 8), I could have plunged into oblivion, my body becoming part of the beautiful scenery. But if I jump off Holder Tower, I’ll just hit some rich man’s Porsche on Nassau Street.
You just can’t win, sometimes.
September 1, 2007 at 9:28 am
Yeah, but notice that the criteria are:
1. How well it performs as an engine of social mobility (ideally helping the poor to get rich rather than the very rich to get very, very rich)
2. How well it does in fostering scientific and humanistic research
3. How well it promotes an ethic of service to country.
In other words, the criteria are: how many poor kids they have, something vague and unquantifiable, and how well they force their students to slave. Doesn’t sound like my criteria for a good college.
September 1, 2007 at 10:04 pm
Agreed, Mr.Wei. In my defense: it _was_ a joke.
September 2, 2007 at 4:33 pm
[...] Monthly strikes again, according to Aditya Panda ‘10 in recent post “Princeton Ranks Not First On Washington Monthly Rankings.” When I first received a copy of this publication’s rankings an acceptance package [...]
September 4, 2007 at 11:24 pm
*is confused*
*looks furtively at dictionary- and phonebook-sized books on the floor*